


How will you come to me this time?

by LadyBrooke



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Background Relationships, Canonical Character Death, Dark Fairy Tale Elements, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBrooke/pseuds/LadyBrooke
Summary: Finwë thinks the Valar are different from the beings that stalked them before the Journey.Míriel knows that some of them are not.
Relationships: Finwë/Míriel Þerindë | Míriel Serindë, Míriel Þerindë | Míriel Serindë/Vairë the Weaver
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	How will you come to me this time?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [November Nymphs and Nixies Fest](https://elasticella.dreamwidth.org/22891.html?page=2#comments), specifically the prompt "You must come with me, loving me, to death; or else hate me and still come with me, and hating me through death and after." from Carmilla, given by SapphicSunshower.

I.

Míriel does not trust the Valar. Not like Finwë does, speaking of the Valar's protection as though they are righteous servants of Eru she should bow down to.

She can remember the days before the Journey, too.

Finwë thinks of those days and thinks that Manwë keeps them safe, that Manwë is different from his brother and that both are different from the beings that lurked in the darkness- that lured her family into the darkness and took them.

Míriel looks into their eyes and knows they are the same as those beings. There is no escape from them here.

II.

Vairë visits her when she is pregnant with Fëanáro.

She does not tell Finwë. He is happy about their son, happy that they will soon have a family together.

Vairë comes in the day, to speak about tapestries, weaving versus embroidery. Míriel is famed as a weaver, and the Noldor appreciate this as a sign of the Valar's respect for their Queen.

Vairë comes in the night, too. She passes through the door of Míriel's room, standing in the corner when Finwë is distracted by his duties.

"Will you come with me?" she asks.

"No," Míriel answers. "Not for now."

III.

No one can tell them no forever.

Míriel remembers the fights in the dark, against orcs and wolves. Those were obvious enemies, come to kill.

She also remembers the River-woman, standing on the banks of the water and waving as they passed.

Some had walked by, eyes averted to the ground and able to escape.

Others had stayed, captive and smiling until they drowned.

The River-woman did not understand the needs of elves.

Even when they do not intend to harm - and the River-woman had not, she wanted a lover, not a corpse - they still do.

Míriel is afraid of what will happen if they do intend harm.

IV.

Vairë's tapestries show history.

The Valar in general know not only of the past and present, but some of the future.

"You will come to my husband's Halls and through them to me, whether you will such or not. Would it not be better to come to me through love?" Vairë asks on one visit.

This could be knowledge.

It could also be a threat, and Míriel is not sure of which it is.

Fëanáro's birth is near. "If I will come to you, it shall be after the birth of my son."

Vairë smiles. "Of course it will be after."

V.

Míriel grows weak as the birth approachs.

She does not tell Finwë. It will do no good - her husband would make a stand against the Valar for her, if he believed her. That would end in doom, for there is no escape here.

She does not let herself think of if he did not believe her. Would he send her to the healing gardens that belong to the Valar? Would he keep her away from them?

"You should rest," he says one day.

She cannot. Irmo is there in her dreams, and she fears he would tell Vairë and Námo of her plans.

VI.

Fëanáro is born.

She tries to stay. She wishes to see her son grow.

She wishes to keep him safe and away from the Valar more. Vairë continues to visit her, and Fëanáro is a curious boy.

He cannot be permitted to become close with them.

"You may come with me through love or through hate, but your fate is to enter the Halls."

She is still not sure if this is a threat, but she makes her choice.

She will go for love of her son. Perhaps he will learn to hate the Valar for this, and stay away.

VII.

"Do you not wish to return to life?" Námo asks her one day in his Halls.

Yes, yes, she screams mentally. "No. I will not leave these Halls again. I wish healing and peace."

Námo's eyes are sad and solemn. She wonders what he knows of his wife. Perhaps she should have let Irmo see her dreams.

Perhaps this is all an act. She will never know.

"Finwë wishes to marry Indis if you do not return."

Míriel closes her eyes, taking an unneeded breath. Indis and Ingwë are beloved by Manwë. Indis at least will not end up here, Míriel thinks. "I am glad for my husband's joy with his new love."

VIII.

"Did you cause this?" Míriel asks one day, as she embroiders a tapestry of her son. He is holding a sword to his half-brother's throat (she could cry at how that has turned out. 'Fëanáro,' she thinks, "Indis is beloved of Manwë. You are better off with his protection than what I can give you.').

Vairë blinks. It is a habit she has picked up recently. Míriel thinks Vairë is trying to make her feel more at ease.

It has not worked.

"Fëanáro's fight with Nolofinwë?" Vairë asks.

Míriel shakes her head, but does not clarify.

Vairë would not answer if she did.

IX.

Finwë is here.

Míriel runs to him.

They speak, while Vairë and Námo are gone with the rest of the Valar to the feast.

She tells him everything, finally.

He listens more than she had thought he would. Perhaps it is the fact that Melkor had revealed himself by killing Finwë. Perhaps he always would have, if Míriel had been brave enough to tell him.

"They will only let one of us leave," he says.

She nods. "I will miss you when you are released."

Finwë shakes his head. "Nay. I will not let you remain here, trapped. Tell Námo you are ready to be released. I shall stay here."

They argue.

Míriel leaves.

X.

Míriel cannot stay away for long.

She walks into the darkness, and makes her way to her old home. She is welcomed, though her son is gone.

Arafinwë greets her.

She grows weak, again.

Vaire visits her in her rooms, again.

"You will not come to me through death this time, but you will come to me again. How will you come this time?"

Míriel leaves as the sun rises in the sky, taking up her tapestries again.

She weeps over them as Vaire wanders through the house that is now both of theirs.


End file.
